


One of 37 Times was an Accident

by AnimeXD801, milkbatter



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Hitman! Akaashi, M/M, Minor Kurotsukki - Freeform, Oikawa and Lev are dead, Tsukki is mentioned, Tumblr Prompt, We had another sleepover, but it's alright
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 21:55:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11906985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeXD801/pseuds/AnimeXD801, https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkbatter/pseuds/milkbatter
Summary: This wasn't the time to be ogling at a hot man when the hot man had a dead body with him. He starts to reach out for his knife. Looks like he was going to bury a few more bodies tonight. At this time Bokuto noticed that his flashlight was now illuminating a dead body. A dead body Bokuto didn't bring. As a result, a ear piercing screech echoed through the dense trees, causing Akaashi to startle and fling his knife in surprise. Akaashi then had a thought."Why are you screaming when you also have a dead body?""Oh yea" Bokuto exclaimed softly. He then proceeded to ask "So you wanna help each other bury dead bodies?"





	One of 37 Times was an Accident

**Author's Note:**

> We would apologize, but it's beautiful! So enjoy ;3

It was a beautiful summer night, the stars were twinkling and the moon was shining light through the leafy canopy. A perfect night to take a long walk through the dense forest, or drag a mangled corpse as Bokuto Koutarou was doing that night. Through the rustling leaves and cricket chirps, Bokuto could be heard swearing and huffing as he dragged the unnaturally long body through the woods. Groaning Bokuto thought about his life choices, specifically his extreme loyalty to his friends. Which is why he was dragging a body at ass o' clock in the morning, of which he didn't even kill. With the thought he took a deep breath, taking notice to how the body was starting to progressively ripen. How long does it take for a body to ripen anyways? He didn't know or care, he just wanted this over with.

/////Flashback/////

Bokuto was sitting comfortably on his gray polka dotted couch in the living room of his apartment contemplating whether to chug an entire gallon of milk as fast as he can or try to bid on ebay for another rare owl plushie named Yum Yum Star. He sighed the last plushie (Westbury Princess Zelda) had cost him over ¥2000, but Zelda was lonely so whatever. Just as he was about pull out his laptop his phone rang, he picked without looking at the caller ID, as he had recognized the special ringtone saved for this person the tone was "Oya oya oya" over and over again.

"Hey Kubro, what's u-" Bokuto had started before being interrupted loudly by his closest friend.

"Bo, thank god. I fucked up really badly." Kurro said his voice panicking a little more with each word.

"Did you steal Kenma's apple pie?" Bokuto asked.

"No I'm not a crazy person, but I may have ran over someone 37 times". Before Bokuto get another word in Kuroo quickly adds, "on accident of course". The way Kuroo emphasized of course made Bokuto a bit hesitant to believe him, but he was his bro. 

"Who was it," Bokuto asks slowly.

"You know that guy who stole Tsukkishima's glasses and the immediately fell down a flight a stairs at the Barnes and Noble, a couple of weeks ago.

"Lev." Bokuto offered knowingly.

"Lev" Kuroo agreed," anyway I'm going to be late for Me and Tsukki's anniversary dinner."

"Oh shit that sucks."

"Soooo I need you to help bury it."

/////End of Flashback/////

"Fuck!," the moody owl yelped as he tripped of a twig for the sixth time since he arrived at the woods. What he didn't know at the time, someone else that was taking advantage of the perfect corpse hiding night had overheard the loud curse. Now Akaashi was not expecting there to be another person in the woods at 3 o' clock in the morning, but he was prepared. Placing the dead body against the nearest tree, the pretty faced hit man then slowly pulled out his knife and stalked over to the person. As he made his way over to the other person, he realized it a man, but not just a man, a man with a terribly long dead body. It was that exact moment, the lifeless body left against the tree decided to fall over. Akaashi then mutters his own "fuck."

That moment the entire forest went silent. The man with the ridiculous haircut then slowly turned towards the source of the sound. He quickly swiveled his flashlight in that direction. The last thing he had expected the light to land on was the most beautiful face he had ever seen, instead of some sort of animal that was coming to kill him. He was so busy staring at the gorgeous man that he didn't consider the poor man's eyes.

"Ah hell!" The nearly blinded man exclaimed dropping the knife, and stumbled backwards onto the ground.

"Sorry! Sorry!" The flashlight's owner apologized profusely, offering his hand to the younger man.

Blinking rapidly to regain his vision, time began to slow down. The man's biceps were absolutely delicious. They matched his spiky multi colored hair perfectly. All he could do was inspect the others muscular arm with his newly regained vision. 

"Bro are you okay? Did you hit your head?"

Akaashi broke free from his stupor. This wasn't the time to be ogling at a hot man when the hot man had a dead body with him. He starts to reach out for his knife. Looks like he was going to bury a few more bodies tonight. At this time Bokuto noticed that his flashlight was now illuminating a dead body. A dead body Bokuto didn't bring. As a result, a ear piercing screech echoed through the dense trees, causing Akaashi to startle and fling his knife in surprise. Akaashi then had a thought.

"Why are you screaming when you also have a dead body?"

"Oh yea" Bokuto exclaimed softly. He then proceeded to ask "So you wanna help each other bury dead bodies?"

Now Akaashi had his doubts, but out of the five years he had been a hit man, he's never had help disposing a body. This is why he ends up hesitantly agreeing to the positively ravishing man. 

/////Later/////

The two men stood over their handy work at six in the morning, Bokuto wearing a shit eating grin and Akaashi with his resting bitch face. They were satisfied with their work but felt unexpectedly disappointing to leave each other. Now Akaashi was ready to go back to his lonely every day life as a hit man, but as he began to turn, the other snatched up his wrist.

"Wait!" The golden eyed accomplice shouted obnoxiously loudly.

"What do you want I am a foot away from you?"

"Do you... maybe... wanna go get some coffee with me at an owl cafe?"

With a sigh Akaashi answers "Why the hell not? I have to get my money from the contractee first."

"You're a hit man!?"

"You're not?"

"Nahh, my bro accidentally ran over this dude 37 times."

"I would understand if he hit him on accident the first time, but another 36 times? I don't know about that." The two then proceeded to make their way to the cars. The cars that happened to be only on opposite side of the road, that had been hidden in the night. Since Bokuto had thoughtlessly sped to the forest the night before, there was no gas in his car, resulting with him jumping into the others car. He would think about the towing fees later. They then sped to the person who hired Akaashi to kill and hide a body at 3 in the morning's office.

When they arrived at the office, the fist thing they hear is hissing noises. They share a look and head inside the building to be greeted by a swivel chair turned backwards at the far end of the room behind a desk. The chair turned at the noise of the door opening. It was a familiar face from high school stroking a cat that had it's claws into the clients arms.

"Kageyama??!!" Bokuto bellowed. Akaashi is surprised that Bokuto knows him. However, before he can ask about it Kageyama starts talking, ignoring Bokuto's presence.

"Is Oikawa dead?"

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading >;3c


End file.
